A few credits first this morning. The self evaluation questions that I'm working through are attributed to John Wesley. As I said yesterday the paper appeared in "one of those stacks" However, there is a reference to a web site joniandfriends.org
Today's question to ponder. Do I laugh at the mistakes of others, reveling in their errors and misfortunes?
I would like to just say, "yes I have" and end the blog. The first thing that came to my mind as I read the question was how my competitive nature really comes out at sporting events. How I long for the other team to be penalized, turn the ball over, make mental mistakes, and even have the star player limp off the field. All for the sake of my team winning. This behavior is justified, so I believe, when I utter the words, "I'm very competitive". Do these attitudes spill over into everyday life? Do we hope that others will "mess up" so that we can win in the game of life? Do we feel big when others are made low? Considering the possibilities for discussion today-BK
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The biggest example I have of this in my life, sad to say, is Matthew and Jeremiah's step-mom, Dana. Jamie and I's separation was directly related to her. And I have had a very hard time dealing with our separation and I still love Jamie even after 4 1/2 years of separation. I know that if he became single again I would want a chance for us to be together. This is NOT easy for me to admit. So every time that he complains about Dana or I find out they have a fight, my inner cheering squad goes into hyper-drive. I justify it by saying that if it weren't for her Jamie and I would still be together but I conveniently forget that Jamie had a choice in it too. It is mean, selfish, and petty. I should be praying for their marriage to be happy and lasting because if they are happy it means better time for my boys with their dad. But I don't. I feel better when he bad mouths her and I feel better when I know they are having trouble. It isn't right, and it hurts to admit that I'm a petty, inconsiderate, and selfish person. But in the end, I end up hurting myself even more because guess what? Not only am I mean, petty, inconsiderate, and selfish, but I'm also still alone and they are still married. So you don't really win when you hope others will be worse off than you are. It just makes you the bigger loser in the end.
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